Lessons to be learnt

If you are a bit blind like me, click on the image to see it bigger

During my magazine rummages’ve found this article which has been a heaven sent for me. It touches the reasons why I can get paranoid and feeling down from time to time and the interesting thing as well is that they say it is all backed up scientifically proven to enhance health as well!! I am sticking it here so I can revisit these tips every time the cloud comes over my head again. And I thought was quite good to share with everyone. Anything to try and make this a better, more peaceful and kind world.

The second bit of the article is quite interesting as well. Is about the “sickies” that people take in U.K. Basically because the law allows you to take fake sick days (you don’t need a doctors letter up to a certain quantity of days) people can abuse of the privilege sometimes. And even with numbers going down, Spain and U.K are still the “sickie”-kings of Europe!

I am slowly getting up-to-date with the blogs I read, and the hardest thing for me is to read the posts without leaving anything in the comments field.

The problem is, I treat everything online the same I would treat if I was talking with the person face to face. I get this strong feeling if I am not replying to people, it is like I am letting them talk alone. And I am the same with twitter, facebook and e-mails   ~x(

The problem with it is that sometimes people may think I am being clingy, or that I  have the last word (which is a bad habit in my point of view) or that I have nothing else to do with my life, which would be brilliant, if it only was true.

But of course it could be something far worse than that. And that I do it to keep people close, that I believe I need this to keep “reminding” people I exist, and would attract them to treat me the same way.

As part of my journey of treating my paranoia, I think I need to change this habit. I believe now I know the profile of all my online friends, and I know who needs, wants, likes lots of comments and/or replies. And those who are not really bothered by it. And I will start and apply that trend instead, always making sure I comment when I have something that will contribute to the dialog and not only because I have to say something.

It will save me a lot of face and lot of time, I tells ya.

Mind you, I will keep reading all my timeline, nonetheless and regardless of how long it takes. Tweet by tweet, status by status, post by post. I am not *that* unhooked from it yet to only read what I currently see when I log in :-??

And on a quick note, Birthday was brilliant! Friends made it amazing once again and totally worth for arranging the lunch! Got a lot of presents, too big a list to put in here now, but will certainly be talking about them and dropping pics as I get to put them to good use! :-bd

Like I’ve mentioned here, on my coming back to the blogsfera I thought of trying to reconnect with people who I had left behind, people I really cared for in the past.
People who I’d spend hours chatting on MSN developing close friendships, or reading their blogs…
Because I was the one choosing to retreat from the net world, I thought was only fair to go after them again, revert that choice…
But it never went through my mind they could be the ones choosing to retreat from me.
I have never received any harsh word from those I befriended with and if that ever happened, we always talked things through and if the decision to cut off the friendship was taken it was always mutual, it was always something we knew why was happening and why we would not be friends anymore.
One of this closest friends still accepts to be around but not as close as before. Another one was pretty much direct when posting on a network site “What should she do if someone from the past appears again and you wish she stayed in the past” two days after I went to her blog and netsite to say I was glad to have found her again and to see she was happy. After that last post she protected her posts and I am not included in those ones allowed to see it.
Of course I took the hint and accepted the fact she does not want me in her life again, so is only a matter of respect I don’t follow her on her blog again or try to contact her again.
What breaks my heart is to have absolutely no idea why they would prefer it that way. I am so afraid of hurting people’s feelings, of being cruel, or even unfriendly, it makes me totally paranoid to think I may have gone and done just that.
I don’t mind people not liking me, not considering their best friends. No one can’t be the best friend of everyone, and I know friendships can just grow out of itself with time and distance, but to completely repel someone?
And why just not be honest? Why not just write to me and tell me how they feel?
That would be what I would do, not send messages with double meanings, that hurts so much more…
Anyway, Mr J and Mrs M came to my rescue when I was having a cry about it (I can’t believe I actually cried over it) and reminded me how wonderful I am, and how much all my other friends love me and are happy to see me well again…
I know in my heart I do everything I think is right, I do my bit.
I need to learn to deal with the fact people will change, move on and leave you behind.
Sometimes you didn’t even do anything wrong, that is just life. :)

“Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense
respected.” Charles Lamb

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