Self-Therapy


If you are a bit blind like me, click on the image to see it bigger

During my magazine rummages’ve found this article which has been a heaven sent for me. It touches the reasons why I can get paranoid and feeling down from time to time and the interesting thing as well is that they say it is all backed up scientifically proven to enhance health as well!! I am sticking it here so I can revisit these tips every time the cloud comes over my head again. And I thought was quite good to share with everyone. Anything to try and make this a better, more peaceful and kind world.

The second bit of the article is quite interesting as well. Is about the “sickies” that people take in U.K. Basically because the law allows you to take fake sick days (you don’t need a doctors letter up to a certain quantity of days) people can abuse of the privilege sometimes. And even with numbers going down, Spain and U.K are still the “sickie”-kings of Europe!

Busy bee again :bz but no news there :) Flu/hayfever finally gone and I am back to my good self, finally!

Went to see Mrs. G and her Baby G., how cute can an oriental baby be? The cutest!!! =D We caught up with life, and I had a wonderful time in the Sun. Then went to meet Mr. and Mrs. M for a spot of Caetano Veloso @ Barbican Hall, he did some crazy weirdo stuff but still totally worth it! Could not believe when he did my favourite Trem das Cores \:D/

Stroppy but his wonderful voice is all he needs

So going back to training tonight, looking forward to it! Have put on a weight I really didn’t want to, but hey ho, no point complaining about, hate something, change something, make something better, that’s my motto!

Speaking of hating something, changing something, a lot of things I hated happened lately, involving the past, friends and things I’d like have gone differently.

But again, all I will do is something to change it, and try and make it better, for me. It is not only the fact I hate confrontation, is also the fact I believe every time I complain to people the way I feel, it is in a way empowering that person to make me feel that way. And I don’t like that feeling one little bit. Also, there is the feeling of being silly, complaining about something that is not there, and is only my self-esteem (or lack of it) and paranoia getting the best of me.

So the change will have to come from me, and mostly the problem is with me anyway, (maybe a middle-child-syndrome symptom)  getting jealous of people not giving me attention as they do to each other. I need to accept that’s what happens when friends are not “mine”, but have been copied. I have to learn and cope with that, and readjust that despite I consider them my FRIENDS, they may consider me their friend. And I can live with that no problem, just need to know where I stand really. I will do my usual re-shuffle, I only hope this going with the flow, when I take a step back, doesn’t get me in trouble again, as it did before, but if it does, this time I am completely sure I did my best, and maybe it just wasn’t enough, and time for the friendship to move on to another place or finish completely.

On the other side, a lot of things I loved happened as well, balance of the Universe kinda of thing. Reconnected with my real, “original” friends, the cave planning is taking new and exciting highs, my work contract is in the process of being renewed and as I said on the top of the post, my ilness has gone away. I am happy, and content and have to stop “looking for hairs on egg shells” like we say in Brazil :-D

*So, Brazil is out of the World Cup. I always knew they wouldn’t make it to the final. They’ve played a passionless football, with too much diving, complaining and getting annoyed with the opponent when they played a certain level above the average. Yes, I do agree the referee was weak, but when you are considered the geniuses of football, no referee should be able to stop you unless it is scandalous incompetence, which wasn’t on the case by far.

* I was rooting for Uruguay to get through. Ghana team is a brute team, shouting and intimidating adversaries is not how football should be won. I think was a fair result and I am happy for Uruguay, which has been playing good solid football throughout.

* Argentina not going through and loosing 4×0 was a shock. I was getting to like their passion and the clean football they played throughout the tournament. They didn’t cheat, didn’t dive, didn’t become violent, and you gotta leave the rivalry aside to admit and admire that . Unfortunately,(and it hurts me to say that) Brazil was the one doing all those things this year, and you gotta leave your Brazilian heart aside to admit that as well. With me, love for the sport speaks louder than the love or hate for the teams.

* Did not see the Spain game, but happy Torres will get another chance to try ;)

Tom: What happens when you fall in love? Summer: You believe in that? Tom: It's love, it's not Santa Claus.

Between one game and the other, and the cave planning, we managed to, finally , watch 500 days of Summer. The movie starts saying it is not a love story, and I disagree with it. For me, it is a love story, and all love entitles, including coming to an end, or not being corresponded. It is an amazing story, got me gripped on the sofa and shut myself up (I usually speak a LOT during movies) and I just wanted to know if the predictable, sweeter-than-honey, messes-up-with-peoples-heads-and-expectations-about-how-real-life-should-be annoying Hollywoodian ending would come. Well, I am not going to spoil that for you ;)  But enjoyed it a lot!

If there is one thing I really like about my timeline,  is how easy it makes for us to “steal friends” from one another. And there is a reason why both words are inside the quotes marks.

I use “steal” because that is how it feels like sometimes, browsing to other people’s readings, friends in Facebook, or in Twitter, I’ll snatch the contact and make it my own ;;) . Most of the times I a grab these contacts, and from time to time I catch myself talking, chatting and exchanging e-mails, messages with people I have never seen in my life – just because they were friends of my friends…After all, it makes perfect sense, you’d assume they would be in the same wavelength and is always nice to relate with people who agree with us – mind you, sometimes this can prove disastrous, when they start to have completely different opinions from yours and you just want  to jump to their jugular, but I like the challenge as well, and being the pushover I am, is good to change sides sometimes too :-D (and yeah, sometimes they manage to make me do so, like when Mauro stopped me promoting horoscopy things)

And I use the term “friends” loosely, as in my head I need to have clear distinction on who is my Friend, who is my friend and who just makes interesting reading. This has been messed up in my head before, and the amount of damage it made was silly, but huge. Nowadays I believe I am good at separating them three, but from time to time, I need to re-visit, re-classify, re-assess who is who and to which category they belong. But funnily enough, in real life has been the same, re-shuffling and feeling where the friendship is going. It is a great trick I have managed to create to avoid ever getting hurt by these events again.

The good thing about me is that I don’t usually hold any grudges (I can’t remember last time I did really!) so when friends need me, I’ll be there like nothing happened. I am a bit like Spongebob dealing with Squidward really. The reshuffle, then is easy to happen. I understand people may be away, deal with their lives, and then come back. I kinda pride myself in being a person who will always welcome you with open arms, big ears and broad sholders, no matter how long or which reasons made you to distance yourself.

“Stealing friends” is great, but as long it is not stealing, but borrowing. And as long as they are friends until proved Friends – and suffer the reshuffle from time to time /:)  (and I’m willing to suffer the reshuffle myself :-" )

I am slowly getting up-to-date with the blogs I read, and the hardest thing for me is to read the posts without leaving anything in the comments field.

The problem is, I treat everything online the same I would treat if I was talking with the person face to face. I get this strong feeling if I am not replying to people, it is like I am letting them talk alone. And I am the same with twitter, facebook and e-mails   ~x(

The problem with it is that sometimes people may think I am being clingy, or that I  have the last word (which is a bad habit in my point of view) or that I have nothing else to do with my life, which would be brilliant, if it only was true.

But of course it could be something far worse than that. And that I do it to keep people close, that I believe I need this to keep “reminding” people I exist, and would attract them to treat me the same way.

As part of my journey of treating my paranoia, I think I need to change this habit. I believe now I know the profile of all my online friends, and I know who needs, wants, likes lots of comments and/or replies. And those who are not really bothered by it. And I will start and apply that trend instead, always making sure I comment when I have something that will contribute to the dialog and not only because I have to say something.

It will save me a lot of face and lot of time, I tells ya.

Mind you, I will keep reading all my timeline, nonetheless and regardless of how long it takes. Tweet by tweet, status by status, post by post. I am not *that* unhooked from it yet to only read what I currently see when I log in :-??

And on a quick note, Birthday was brilliant! Friends made it amazing once again and totally worth for arranging the lunch! Got a lot of presents, too big a list to put in here now, but will certainly be talking about them and dropping pics as I get to put them to good use! :-bd

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