But I will try and keep the frequent posting, I am liking this verbiage every couple of days, and boy does it have a good impact in my life. I feel when I write and make the words something visible, is easier to focus, to analyse and to stop the re-thinking which drives me insane sometimes.

So, these days I’ve been distracted with planning a lot and it is, as for most people who are the think-too-much breed, one of my favourite pastimes.  I’ve been lost on huge piles of magazines looking for words to use on collages I want to spread in the cave, saving tasty pretty looking food recipes I want to cook when we have friends over to visit, or simply feel like doing something special (that will be every weekend at least I hope), also cutting and pasting anything that catches my eyes, from little nick-knacks to huge pieces of furnitures, even if only to get ideas. We’ve been buying interior design magazines (one cheap and one expensive-ish a month) but all the other magazines were left by the entrance window seal by a kind neighbour Mr. J has  o:) All these things are going to a folder (just like I found out Lolla likes doing as well) and then we run through it at night and choose what is worth going and have a look at.

Some of the things are really disappointing when you go to see them “live” but they still pull us to the right stores and places to find pieces which still matches our tastes.

Togo Sofa, pretty and stylish. But expensive (£4500-6000) too hard and too low and not nice if you just want to sit up straight.

Rolf Benz Plura. Looks pretty and the flexible head and legs rests which become extended as you need are a good idea. But expensive (£10000+) and it is not comfortable at all. The fabric version we tested was "itchy" and it had the feeling of an aircraft seat.

So we may end up just choosing a normal traditional leather sofa…We’ll see. For now we have chosen our magnificent bed and mattress, we went for memory foam with sprung pockets which is best of both worlds. The bed is very Hotel-like but we absolutely lurrrrve hotels, so it is our dream bed which we wouldn’t find anything like it and we will stay with it for a long time so was worth splashing out.

One thing that is helping a lot is this 3D software where you do a floorplan and can play with colours and sizes and decide if everything will look good and pretty and, most importantly, fit before the house is even built. So I am spending a lot of time on it as well, specially at evenings when I get tired of the internet :-D

There are still a lot to choose, and to plan, and I am having a brilliant time doing so. It has taken my mind out of some nagging issues still happening with the old chapter of my life, and has been the best therapy to get me distracted and stressing.


*So, Germany was 3rd place, and that was fair really. I think they played the least emotional but the most competent football, they should’ve been the winners, but football is not a fair game. Felt sad for Furlán, but he got the golden boots so all is fine!

*And Spain made justice by being champions. Holland played dirty from the start and they didn’t deserve to win by far. Spain played beautifully and cutie boy Torres got his medal so all was happy in think-too-much land.

*Summarizing: this World Cup was tainted by bad refereeing, unfair results, passionless football and the sound of vuvuzelas. But was decorated with pretty songs, wonderful smiles, and full-on play-with-our-hearts-in-our-sleeves players and managers (e.g. Maradona and Jochen Lowe). I never like seeing the sad loosers face, no matter who they were, or how badly they played. The commemorations weren’t that special apart from Ghana little dance. But isn’t that how all World Cups always go? :)


Rep. Dennis Kucinich: Is this the United States Congress, or the board of directors of Goldman Sachs?

First I have to say I am a big fan of Michal Moore. Being biased like he is, and exaggerated, and a bit out-of-the-point-of-what-we-are-talking-about-here like he is. He always brings me to tears, his movies for me are always a reality re-check. It is things we know are happening, it is in our faces every day of our mundane lives. Everyone knows is wrong, but do anyone do anything to change it? Hardly no one.

Maybe I’m just gullible, but this movie is friggin’ brilliant. Even if it just makes you think about what you believe is right in this world. What is important? What are the consequences of your acts to go up the ladder? How much is too much for someone to have? How can you do something to change things? And if you tried, would it matter?

Yes, it did brought me to tears again, seeing that even when good, honest, decent people get to power and try to make things change and the human condition better, the greedy and cowards still get their ways. Some(rare)times, there is a glimpse, even if tiny, of hope. But is it enough?

The movie looses its only star I took back when Michael goes to interview the Catholic Church about how “evil” capitalism system is. Really? Are we asking the same Church that was corrupt from its values killed in the name of gold and precious stones in the past? Priests talking about how Capitalism uses propaganda to ” to convince people who are victimized by this very system to support the system and see it as good.” ? Really, the Catholic Chruch, responsible for the cruzades?

The whole thing is hypocritical. For those making the movie and us watching as well. Aren’t we all moved by the same desires of making fortune? Is it a question of how much of a fortune is acceptable or not? As I said this movie is  one to tie your head in a knot and question the kinda of life you want to live behind, so it is not for the faint hearted.

Another problem with the movie is that once again, it will be only watched and have an affect on people who is already convinced by the theories Michael Moore presents us. It is not going to reach people who REALLY needed to, and even if does, it will rarely convince them they are wrong, or make them change their attitudes.

*And just by coincidence, my friend Bianca posted this animation by David Harvey which explains all Michael Moore does in 2 hours in 11 minutes. See it!

On the trendy subjects going around lately…

*World Cup* :-bd  But then again, I’m this huge fan of the sport, someone who gets all the feelings it has to offer. Spoke about my love football before, but there is something about the World Cup, a pinnacle of the sport, the passion. For me, is all about the underdogs, the ones we can never expect to get any results, but there is always at least one to prove us wrong. To prove highly paid salaries is nothing compared to a heart beating fast in their chest and wearing the country’s shirt means carrying that nation. And watch this space, unless the world cup is really bland and boring, I will put my thoughts in here in how its all gone and why it is so magical to me!

*Sex and the City 2* :-bd Forget about the shoes, the clothes, the frivolity of them never EVER discussing world affairs and what is going on in this planet (mind you I don’t like discussing these things either, look General News bellow). What I like about these girls, is their friendship, the fact life is not easy for them either, and they go through the tough times together. They fight, they make up, they get disappointed (with others and each other) and they survive. For all the bits that I personally think as being wrong “woman role model”  it makes up for that. So yeah, I am one of those going to see the second film, after the first one being very moving and worth the 2-4-1 tickets!

*General News* :-q I have been absent from rants about the Israeli Attack on the Hamaz aid boat, the BT Oil Leak, and general bad news, because I absolutely hate propagating bad news. If you have bad news and have something that I can do to help to fix, assist or change it, fair enough. But I think propagating bad news with no purpose, is only a way to increase the bad feelings already taking over us. At least the way I see it, the frustration, anger, hopelessness generated by the news only generate more actions towards more of these being created. I really do not get how Twitter, Facebook or blog rantings really put a pressure on change. Unless they bring something we can pay for (singles for Xmas chart, help with Haiti Aid) sign for (Number 10 petitions, Kidnapped kids cause) I really don’t know how rantings can help. Most of the time, for me, it only shows how people can be rude when in the net, disregarding other people’s – sometimes your closest friends – opinions, and again, generating more anger and frustration – and here I prove my point. I ignore the rude rants from friends and will never hold it against them (I know they are not like that in person) is just that I am not prepared to do it. And where do I get the news from? Good News with Russell Howard, Mock the Week and Have I got news from you. All comedy shows about the news, which is great to get to know what is happening without getting depressed. Of course, my timeline also tells me about the disasters of the world, along with their personal views, sometimes I even few there is a race to tell everyone what tragic happened that day 8-| So don’t expect me ever to propagate bad news (murders, terrorist attacks, nature’s disasters, political scandals and the lot) unless I can do and tell you to do something about it.

*TV Series* :-bd As  lately I’ve been refusing to watch the news, I have to fill the TV time with something else. We are very much into Great British Menu, 24 (the final will be aired next weekend), House, Bones, Four Weddings, Come Dine with me and Red Dwarf (on DVD) have been brilliant taking me to Zombieland and forgetting all the doom and gloom outside :-D

*Meeting friends* :-?  Happy with the way I’ve taking the initiative to arrange meet ups with the friends lately. Sad with them not able to make it most of the time. But my motto now is to do my part, what to come, be more than welcome, don’t want/ cannot join us? See ya next time then, I’m going!  =) Maybe this is why I can’t remember last weekend I just stayed put and not done anything :> Not complaining though, never!

With not much basis than what people tell me (isn’t this how you get all your news today? – and I am lazy to do my usual research (:| ) here goes my opinion on the Games (world Cup and Olympic) going to Brazil:

> Why I believe is not such a good idea:

The structure  is not there yet, a LOT of things will have to be built from scratch, and Brazil has much worse problems to take care of before spending money on such HUGE events. If this money exists – which politicians love saying it doesn’t, shouldn’t they be spending this US$ 64 billion in building schools, hospitals, tax cut to incentive companies generate more jobs?

– These building process in Brazil for these things are almost always commissioned by governments. Local or Federal. And guess what? Almost always with a price on top to choose the companies who give them money on “the backstage” if you know what I mean…

– I am not sure we can provide security to all this people. Just because is a sports events, doesn’t mean violence takes a vacation. Look what happened in in Angola during the African Cup. I am really concerned specially about the World Cup taking place in Brazil, a country so fanatic about football, would this be the case where people would do anything to get hold of tickets ? :-<

> Why I want them to prove me wrong?

– Brazilian people needs being proven wrong. They need to be proven their self-worth. That we can do things spectacularly well. Brazilian people work hard, so why would they not do a brilliant job of it?

– I’ve read somewhere  the subway in Rio had to have the extension pulled out because was either do the games at the Pan American or the extension, they chose the games. I hope this will not be the case with these games. I hope the example of Athens is more true, and that the games do bring lots of benefits that will last to the nation.

– I hope this opportunity to tackle corruption is taken with their  “teeth and nails”, like we say in Brazil. And that buildings are done honestly, so Brazilian who still do so, can stop believing everything has to be done on a certain dodge way.

– And I hope this will be an opportunity to change the perception of Brazilians around the globe (even by Brazilians ourselves). I hope the games break all conception that Brazilians only live to dance, have sex and toast on the beach (not even starting to talk about people who still think the whole of Brazil is a jungle). This is the chance they have to prove Brazilians are all good things about dancing, having sex and toasting on the beach, but there is so much more to this people than that.

****Same latest pics, I am inseparable of my camera now, courtesy of Mr J*****

On the top of the...

Sitting on... I want to go out and play!
Christmas is gone... Where will this road take us?

Can you spy... I'm falling....

Once again I feel good because I was the difference about something I believed in.
Wasn’t such a hugelly important cause, but still… Ok, from the start:
Here in UK, the music hit parade is something very serious. Every week the official chart is released to let people know what is selling more. And one of the traditions for Christmas would be the people waiting to know who would win, it was very exciting times and even betting was taken on it.
Since the music reality shows started (such as PopStars, PopIdol and lately the X-Factor) the Christmas number ones are always the same one. Well not the same ones, but is always the artist who win the programme who goes to win the run for which music will sell more.
But not this year! This year, someone ordinary on Facebook started a campaign to change it. Tired of the old same old predictable fate of knowing who would win, a couple started a campaign with friends to buy the Rage against the machine song “Killing in the name of” to bring the musical war back, the excitement. Against just following the trend of sheep just going to shops to buy the single. And they asked friends to spread the word, and those friends to spread the word with other friends and so on…
And it worked. Today the official results came through confirming Rage against the machine won the battle.
Wasn’t only about buying the single (I only spent 29p buying it). Was about the money they raised for Shelter charity, a charity that looks after homeless people. And so far they raised almost £76000,00! (which I donated £2 for).
And once again, I felt good, for being part of it.
And wasn’t the first time I did it. A few months ago, I was part of a complaint campaign against a fashion company in Brazil because they were portraying violence against women like something that is normal and in vogue. I followed the requests from Denise when she posted it on her blog. And we were victorious when the campaign was taken off air.
It goes to show how people can get what they want done, all you have to do is start it.
Currently, I am also part of the campaign to return Sean home, and I hope to soon be posting good news about that as well.
It proves you can do what they tell you. Just make sure is the right, intelligent, informed thing to do ;)

The whole debate about being skinny, “voluptuous” (pretty name for those who are a little overweight) or fat does my nerves in. Even the media can’t decide what they want. Take the case of Mischa Barton. One day she is too skinny the other she is too fat (note is is from the same *tabloid-not-even-good-for-toilet* paper).

Take the case of all of them. The message is always mixed, there is only a very thin line were the celebrities are allowed to stay before they slash them in hopes of selling more, of making money, feeding this need consumers have to know how bad a life even people with money, fame and everything you could ever ask for ended up having. But that is for another post.

You get, for example, the two sides of the bad scale, in my view.

1) Children as young as 3, already worried about being fat

2) or people wanting protection because they are fat.

Now let’s talk about the first. Who can blame children for being paranoid with their weight? We know children copy what they see. If they are surrounded by images of women in skimpy clothes showing their bodies, (have you had a look lately on how actors and musicians and the majority of people on TV looks like?) their mums and friends, their teachers, their neighbours…everyone talking about how they need to loose weight, what latest diet they’ve done, the overdoing at the gym, how are they supposed to grow up thinking about their own bodies? How are they in their small teeny mind that absorbs everything, not have a self conscious image of themselves and wanting to be just like them?

I have several friends who starve. They literally starve to get to the weight they think is good. They become so thin and don’t realize they are already on a healthy weight and keep on loosing. They fall sick, but they won’t give up the diet (or non-diet, and some will maybe not even eat) the gym, the paranoia.

They go to anorexia state. And how to tell them they’ve gone or are going too far, that they look beautiful already (or they did look beautiful before getting too skinny) and they not think you are just jealous of how pretty they look, of their willpower to resist food? Do not even get me started on the catabolization issue, when they are actually loosing muscle tissue instead of fat. Friends who are FRIENDS will understand, but you could end up hurting feelings as well, but sometimes tough love is called for and maybe the only way to save their lives and sanity.

About the later, don’t get me wrong, but ALL people should be protected from violence, and they are. Here in UK they take violence very seriously and people go to prison for assault (or G.B.H. as they call it in the papers), that’s why I think this noise they made in the press is not justified.

And to be honest, being overweight is one thing and hardly anyone will point, bully or prejudice anyone for being just overweight. Is the obese people who get it. And they shouldn’t get it. No one should. Everyone to its own.

What makes me annoyed is that they shouldn’t be treated as a cute puppy who doesn’t know what is doing either. Be the ones shy on the corner, or the ones who are are bubbly and “happy with who they are”.

We do have some singers and comedians who are obese and say they should be used as role models because they aren’t skinny. No they shouldn’t!

Obesity is as unhealthy as anorexia. It need to be treated and controlled. It needs psychological attention.

I know is hard. I have been on the nearly extreme of the two sides for years as a lot of us are. But never because I thought I looked wrong.

I had pre-anorexia when I was a teenager under the stress of the new high school hard studying regime. Luckily enough mum picked it and made me put weight during my summer holidays or she would pull me out of the school I loved. After I move out from Brazil, I started eating to fill the homesick void, I’ve put on more than 20Kgs. I was a pre-obese. And didn’t realize. So I lost weight. A lot. Mum picked it up again. Said I was getting the “skull face” again as she calls it. So I put on a bit more weight and slowed down the fitness regime.

Now I am somewhere I like myself. I want to stay on these 5Kgs braket, a bit more, a bit less, but not much under or over.

Like mum always said, shouldn’t be about the way you or others look. It should be about being andbeing healthy and having a healthy BMI. And eating healthly and exercizing towards it. (Mum never put us in front of the TV that had bad role models on – it was always educative TV and nice books and researching and studying and learning… What a great mum I have!)

That should make you satisfied and happy with yourself. But as long as it doesn’t harm your health. And then you’ll be able to be satisfied and happy for longer ;)

So that’s why I won’t starve, ever. I won’t give up the pleasures of good food – life is too short. But if I eat sensible quantities and exercise regularly, I think is the best I’ve felt and been, so why change something that works?

Well, those who know me reasonable well knows I have quite the utopic view about capitalism. I truly believe capitalism the worse necessary evil we have to live with, for several reasons.
One of the things I don’t really understand is how countries who are supposed to be poor (or “developing” – to use the politically correct term) can afford to sustain high enormous prices on products which can be found so much cheaper in other countries.
I do know about taxes, and everyone has to make a profit to survive (bing! There you go capitalism being evil!) but I do wonder if the HUGE difference in prices are mostly greed and the certainty people will pay whatever is asked for it, to either:
1. sustain a status of “look, I worked hard, I can spend sh1tloads of money buying this, you can’t”
2. simply out of necessity
3. just liking the item and have no option but to buy it even at higher exorbitant value.

Now nothing wrong with the second reason, if you need something, and there is no way out of it than what can you do really? What annoys me with capitalism is the 1. and 2. points, where you could easily live with another cheaper option, simply not to buy whatever is being exploited from you, and force the prices down.
In my view, it is as easy as that. But maybe I am wrong?In here we have the example of Jaguar, which went bankrupt because people would not buy their cars anymore on the prices they were charging. It is sad to see a national industry go away, but have them lowered their prices I am sure they would have survived. See prices for houses, cars, mobile phones, anything here don’t survive too long a surge on prices because people stop buying.Of course I am using Brazil as my criticism view, unfortunately a bad one this time.But coming from there and having this outlook on people

I was raised seeing people getting suffocated by debits. On credit card, on financing in 817373 instalments payments to have things they don’t really need, they just want. To keep up with their friends, put up a front and try to live a life beyond their means, and it is a circle vice, and when you least expect everyone is caught on it. Sad affair.Thanks to mum and dad, I got the right hang of it. Bought my cars always with prompt payment. Never spend more than I make. First thing I do when I get my salary is to put a big chunk of it aside on my savings. Never buy more than I need. Maybe that’s why I can’t understand how this industry is still fed by people buying these things and throwing money at something so replaceable.

Fiat 500
Price in Brazil – from £21834.00 (R$ 61.900.00)
Price in U.K. from £9100.00 (R$ 25782.00)

Ac Dc gig
Price in Brazil – from £53.00-£106.00 (R$150.00-R$300.00)
Price in UK – from £45.00 (R$ 127.00)

Price in Brazil – from £670.00 (R$1899.00)
Price in UK – from £342.00 (R$ 968.00)

**Currency converter

Now, I can’t leave this post without saying how bad the Fruit/Veg prices are here compared to Brazil where they are sold at ridiculous low prices. I was going to include how cheaper the Avocato, Apple, Lettuce were in Brazil, but boy how wrong was I? They are cheaper here now! Ok, they don’t taste the same (they are frozen to survive the trip and then thawed again for sale) but I was soo surprised to see the prices we are paying for food in Brazil now! Maybe it is a great sign people are earning more and affording to have more… Mmm, food for thought… – no punt intended ;)

Something I read on Ms. C blog got me thinking…

Things one should think about improving to make one’s life better.

Pack healthy snacks to eat along the day !check! I am known for doing so and my friends are always snacking off my stock too,lol. I Hate feeling hungry because I believe this kills your muscle tissue which means more fat in your body so I avoid it at all costs! But yeah, sometimes I do forget to pack it….
After 30’s you kinda need to think a bit about these things – without being too paranoid !check! Don’t know about the not being paranoid bit, but yeah, its weird like after 30 (even if just a few months after, I may add) I naturally think more about it, like you start to know you’re not in this life forever and you need to make an effort to make most of it.
Smile and laugh more !check! I laugh at everything. And smile too. I am soo easy! And silly.
Drink a lot of water !check! I drink tons of water already. I also use the excuse to get a break and stretch my legs to get water. I was never a fan of fizzy pop and juice is only nice for me with food. I think I should thank my parents and my schools to make sure I was always into water and juice/fizzy pop were only for special occasions :)
Keep your back straight x Need to work more on this one. Posture was always a problem for me, the only time I can remember having a great posture is when I did swimming lessons. Shame here they don’t have it as the same package as the membership. But will try yoga or just being more conscious about it.
Be less online and more live action !check! I think I’ve been pretty good with this one since last year! I rarely refuse an invite to meet up and come up with ideas as well… Sometimes I try to make “online friendships” to become “real” ones, but for some reason it doesn’t seem to be working, unfortunately. So now I do my best, I offer my phone and my time. If they want to take it good, if not, what more can one do, really? I am just content I got to keep the online thingy going on as well :)
Drink less alcohol !check! I’ve been cutting my alcohol intake a lot. I never drunk a lot per se, but during the last year I was having at least a glass on Fridays, but it turned into two and then you don’t want to leave half a bottle there… So I stopped it. I have it small bottles (they sell tiny ones here which comes with 2 glasses worth of wine) when I feel like it, or will drink some when with friends and not driving…
Pay attention to things around you !check! Hehehe, that’s something I am always doing as well. I guess as I am working from home now is a bit more difficult but even driving around, or just watching TV or surfing the net I am always trying to catch new things in the air and notice people, things around me. They intrigue me, I always catch myself thinking about their past, what brought them there.
Take more photos. Write more. Life is too busy to expect our poor
little brain to remember everything.
Could not agree more. I am always a great fan of pictures and videos and anything that helps our poor memory/attention spam.
Sing !check! I am always singing, humming. So yeah, check that too.

Adding a few of my own:
* Forgive – Life is too short for begrudges.
* Give up – Nothing wrong with failure, it’s only a sign you’ve tried. If you know you’ve tried your best, don’t waste more energy than is needed and move on. Life will sort things out.
* Dance – is there a better way to just let your body go as it wishes? (Ok there is, but preferably in public dancing is still a better choice of not getting arrested.)
* Make jokes – You never know when people will find it funny (or that is so bad is good ) and is a great feeling to make someone laugh or just smile :)
* Compliment people – Forget about weakness, let’s try some strong point for a change and it is bound to go back to you, even when you don’t want to.
* Pay attention to the sky. It gets you thinking beautiful things, even when is gray and dark. You know one day the clouds will go and all will be fine again. Inevitably.
* Say what you think – but without being rude, just strong. Life is short to live one that is not your own.
* Mean what you say. Always.
* Look on the bright side of life. Pollyana style all the way for me.

A conversation last week made a light go in my head on how is important or indeed possible for us to learn from our mistakes.
Hearing someone actually telling me how they would never learn from their mistakes was a bit of a shock, but provoked a sea wave in my mind.
Maybe is just me, but I believe learning from our mistakes is the path to avoid things we know made us unhappy, angry, frustrated, ill, everything that made us suffer in the past. And this way, we would then make sure to act towards a better, happier, brighter present, and consequently future, too. And how consciously decide to ignore mistakes you’ve made before? Or is it done unconsciously?
I could be wrong and no matter how hard we try we will always make mistakes, the same ones over and over again because that’s what we are, and that how we live, but I’d like to think we are better than that, and more intelligent, if so only to fool ourselves thinking we are doing our best to grow up, to change, to adjust, to learn.
So yeah, I will do my best to remain alert.
Keep trying not commit the same errors without loosing who I am.
Be less paranoid, not letting myself go, not take things so personally, be less jealous, express my opinions and desires more out-loud but without being in-your-face.
Just a few of a big list I have, but hard things to do. “Old habits die hard” but I hope they die, sooner or later :)

“Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it’s a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.” – Al Franken

One of the things I can’t get over with the new job is the huge unmeasurable amount of talking that is done. And most of the time is for nothing.
They have conferece calls for absolutely everything. Some days there are two conference calls to talk about the same thing!! (literally to repeat it to different people)
It drives me nuts how these are not productive at all, and the time wasted could’ve been used doing what they talk so much about doing.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a big company spread all over the world and we need the meetings to know what everyone is doing, but I do believe it goes over the top most of the time.
My boss is constantly on meeting, which a few minutes between them to actually do his work! He ends up staying up until 11:00 PM at least every night to take care of e-mails and do any work he has to do.
Sometimes I wonder if they do it on purpose. It is always easier to escape to a meeting instead of doing what you have to do.
My approach,I find, is much better. Twitter, blogs and MSN messenger can always fill my day. I’ll do my work on the spare time.
You’d think they’d know I don’t work that hard, but they always love my results, and think I am wonderful! =)
So my theory of having fun while working, may just be what everyone needs to deliver!

Just when I thought everything was going smoothly, something had to happen to shake everything again…!

U2 wisely sang “the end is not as fun as the start” and now I appreciate how great those words are.
Why does the end have to be so bitter, so difficult, and so hard to make a decision on?
In my utopia world, the end would be just as sweet as the start, you follow your guts and when you realize, you are already in it.
It wouldn’t have fights nor include hurting each other or being spiteful.
The promises of a new start would always be around the corner along with the excitement and the certainty everything would be ok again.

But I have to also point out I believe the reason for endings to be so sad and hard is so we mortals understand we’ve got to move on.
By endings being as painful as possible, it makes us want to get rid of the plague once and for all.
If it was good maybe we would be tempted to start all over again so we could have the ending bit.
Or we would always think is worth to try a bit more, try a little bit more to keep things going without actually putting a full stop on the situation…

Maybe some people make it difficult to avoid the fact that the best thing in their lives is gone.
And forcing them ro be nasty paints it in a bad and ugly light makes easier to walk away from it.

But I feel I am different…
Having two crucial endings happening in my life, I still feel I need to finish both in good terms. I just can’t imagine being the mean one starting and picking up a fight, even more because I am hardly the one who caused the ending in the first place.

Maybe the fact that part of my utopia is happening in real world, where I have two wonderful bright starts to look forward to makes me less needy for those bitterness.
And hopefully these starts will take a looong time to reach an ending, if ever.

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